kinda missed

hurm..

td bru pas chat ngn tyrah..

one of my goodfren..

she was telling me that hati die da dimiliki org!!

hooo....

so happy for her..

untung la ader bf..

hurm.

ilang la lg sorng mmber aku tok melepak..

pasni msty da xleh nk lpk2 kt tmn memalm..?

msty bf die soh lek dok kt umh awl2..

hurm..

untung la ader bf..

hurm..

aku jelous sbnrnye..

aku nk gak ader partner cm tu?

hurm..bkn aku xlaku..

tp aku yng wat diri mcm xlaku..

ader org nk..

tp xleh nk trime..

sbb aku still syunk die..

cmne nieh?

hurm.

can we like before?

=(

kedah medical centre

24 november 2011

arini da 10hari aku kt kedah...

klu mule2 dulu..

almost everyday aku menjerit nk pulang..

tp skunk..

aku mule jatuh cinta ngn KMC..

thnx 4 the staff that make me comfort myself here..

GA-DOH

hurm..

aku gdo ngn die ke?

knpe mcm tbe2 xber text jep?

mcm ader wat salah la plak?

tp rse nye xde wat slah pape lngsng pon..

hurm..

plik2..

bile ditnyer kite gado ke..

die kate..'tah'..

jawapan yng cukup simple

tp langsung xmenolong persoalan aku tu..

hurm..

sllunye..

org tua2 kate..

bile seseorng tu tidak bertegur sapa melebihi 3 hari..

itu saah satu ciri seorng manusia ingin memutus kan tali persahabatan..

aku wat cmtu ke?

hurm

curious nieh..

kehidupan aku?

' nasik terlebih masak..

akan jadi bubur..

xde rse..kosong je..

tp klu ditmbah sedikit perencah dan warna..

bubur tu akan jadik lebh menarik n sedap..'

agak best ayat tu klu nk di kaitkan dgn kehiduoan seseorng..

termasuk la aku..

hurm..

tp..

klu difikirkan semula...

xsemua bubur yng kosong ataw xde rse tu leh die tmbh perencah n warna tok jdi lebih menarik n sedap..

kalu bubur tu hangit?

mmg apa pon xbuleh kan?

time passed by

aha..

aku nk tulis ape rinie?

hurm..

sbnrnye..

mcm2 jadik kt aku within 2-3 weeks nie..

exam..

sakit..

stress..

mcm2 la..

hurm..

knpe tbe2 rse mcm aku sorng2 jep nie?

hurm..

dalam semnggu nie..

almost sllu gak aku lepak bilik sorng2 je..

nad ngn daia ape lagi..

its dating time..

hurm..

ader BF..

buleh la dating..

AKU ADE?

hurm..

aku xde BF la..

hadoiy ai..

sian nye..

xpe la.

nk wat cm ne..

jaat sgt kot aku nie..

xpe la..

even aku xde BF..

td aku still ader die..

thnx!

sbb sllu ngn i..

nway..

watever i post at FB..

jgn amek ati lol..

its jus wat did i like n felt..

2 je..

aku sedar aku sape..

hurm..

ok..

aku da wat kan ape yng aku taw..

n aku da settle kan keje tu..

tp..

klu di edit blik..

n..

sume yng aku wat tu di edit semula..

bek aku xyh buat kan..

hurm.

xpe la weh..

aku ka xpandai..

ape aku wat sume basic je.

ayt pon xda bombastic sgt mcm level korng..

xpe la..

aku sedar diri aku sape..

to sumone that will be my lover

I LOVE YOU 4 GIVING YOUR HEART 2 ME

AND TRUSTING ME WITH YOUR PRIDE

I LOVE YOU 4 WANTING ME

AND NEEDING ME BY YOUR SIDE

I LOVE YOU FOR THE EMOTIONS

I NEVER KNEW I HAD

I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING ME SMILE

WHENEVER I FEEL SAD

I LOVE YOU FOR THOUGHTS 4 ME

WHERE I'M ALWAYS ON YOUR MIND

I LOVE YOU FOR FINDINGS THAT PART OF ME

THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I'LL FIND

I LOVE YOU FOR THE WAY YOU ARE

AND FOR HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL

BUT MOST OF ALL I LOVE YOU

CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE MINE FOR REAL

only when you re lonely..

Here I am again, doing things I said that I wouldn't do
It's 3AM and I'm rushing out the door to see you
Waiting, all day, but now you wanna call me
Why do you do this to me all the time?

After all the things you put me through, still I come right back
But now I know the truth, I can finally see
You only want me when you're lonely
If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me
Next time you need me there I won't make it
Another late night call I won't take it
Cause now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely
Only when you're lonely, lonely
Only when you're lonely
Only when you're lonely, lonely
Only when you're lonely

Had me fooled from the start and I quickly gave my heart
Cause I loved you, loved you, loved you
But this is what happens when you're a lonely girl with no one to turn you
Now I'm stronger, don't need you any longer
So get off your knees, your words don't mean anything
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/b/bruno_mars/only_when_youre_lonely.html ]
After all the things you put me through, ooh still I come right back
But now I know the truth, I can finally see
You only want me when you're lonely
If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me
Next time you need me there I won't make it
Another late night call I won't take it
Cause now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

Oh, nothing's ever changing, decisions you can't make it
You just think of yourself and never me at all
If you're with your friends, you just string me along
But I won't allow it anymore, so it's time for me to move on

Cause I can finally see, you only want me when you're lonely
If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me
Next time you need me there I won't make it
Another late night call I won't take it
Cause now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely
Only when you're lonely, lonely
Only when you're lonely
Only when you're lonely, lonely
Only when you're lonely

I can finally see, you only want me when you're lonely
If I say I'm gonna leave, that's the only time you want me
Next time you need me there I won't make it
Another late night call I won't take it
Cause now I finally see, you only want me when you're lonely

mari kite webbie

hurm..

mlm nie da 2 mlm aku webbie ngn die..

last aku webbie ngn die pon thun lpas rsenye..

be4 aku break ngn die..

tu je last..

hurm..

klu dlu..

tiap kli aku de exm..

webbie tu agk wajib sbb nk tmn aku stdy..

i tod it would not be happened again after wat did happen..

but then..

tonite it happend again..

even aku xde exm..

tp dua2 dok stdy kt dpn webcam msg2..

hurm..i prefered to be like that tiap kli aku exam!!

hurm..

can we do it more often dear??

p/s: kelip2 mata mintk simpati..hahah

life

life is too shot to wake up in the morning with regrets..

so , love the people who treat you right..

and forget about the ones who don't..

and believe that everything happened for a reasons..

if you get a chance..take it..

if it changes your life..let it..

nobody said that it would be easy

they just promised..

it would be worth it

15 octber 2011

hurm..

diam x diam..

da sethun upenye..

hal tu jadik..

aku ingt lagi..

mlm tu..

aku da tdo..

tbe2..die msg aku..

die kate..

'ckup smpai sni je..die xready g nk keep move on..'

hurm..dri aku ngh ngntuk..troz celik mata aku..

tp sesungguhnye..

aku redha je la ngn ape die kte tu..

sbb aku da gtaw kt fb yng aku accept je pape die nk..

walaupun bnda tu hurt aku sgt.

hurm..

a month after the date...

i knew sumthing..

thnx to ur fren coz telling me..

hurm..

xpe la..

4 that moment..

i jus can said.

its ok dear..go on..i prayed for u..

but then..

once u when for the trip...

sum1 get to knew me cause of u..

hurm..

then..

i knew sumthing..

well..

we have not talking and contacting each other for a month..

its quiet long time i think..

21 december 2010..

u texting me..

n said u realized bout wat did happen between u and her..

and we started t be fren n good fren n close fren back again..

n now..

15 october 2011..

its seems like nuthing happend..

but not for me..

be4 the clock turn to 12midnight 15 octber 2011..

my mind recalling everything that happened ar the same date but in year 2010..

hopefully no more that kind of problem happend again after this..

hurm..

lastly

huhu..

sronoknye rse..

xsngka..

dalm mse singkt..

aku dapt 2 org ABG!!!

hoiyeah!!!!

best nye ader abg..

hopefully..

dorng pon ok..

n trima family aku seadany..

hurm..

pasni turn along..

then aku n lisya je tinggal..

hurm..

pasni da start la rye xckup corem..

aku ngn lisya je la..

haish..

tu la part pling xsuke..

xbest la..

hurm..

xpe la..

janji kakak2 aku da slamt jumpe pasangan masing2..

ameen..

luahan haty perasaan yng sakit atie

hai..

pelik tol aku..

kejap nk kjap xnk...

klu ko rase ko bgus..

tunjuk la profesional diri tu..

nie takat xdapat jadi ape yang dihajati..

trus nk blah..?

pergh..

tinggi tol pangkat ko..

ko tu sape?

minister?lawyer?

hahah

klu takat gune mulut je berkate2 tnpe pikir..

bek la g tadika balik...

ergh...

hurm..

asal la aku knal org cam ko nie ek?

wat bagi aku skit otak je..

ape ko ingt ko HOT sgt?

ko sorng je ader exam..

aku pon ader exm la dol..

aku nie einjured!!!

lgi truk dri ko..

ko tu ape je?

cukup je sifat ko en..

sumpah perangai ko mcm K*****...!!!!

help me..

its like a bullshit when u as the team leader need to andle a team which doesnt have chemistry at all..

hurm..

wat im gonna to do..

if u think u wanna be the team leader and felt i dont deserve it..

go ahead..

i dont mind at all..

hurm..

sport..exam..class..

its totally tortured me!!

im to tired of all this..

could sum1 help me it?!!!!

stop it

how i gonna stop it??

if it still was in my mind..?

kept played the same name on my heart...

kept missing the same guy?

kept loved the guy who always do sweet things when he with u??

how could i stop that?

if my own heart willing to be hurt again?

wat should i do?

Mood swing.

Ku susuri malam ini
Yang tidak berbintang sunyi sepi
Juga rembulan dah menghilang
Dalam kelam ku sendiri

Ku mencari hembus bayu
Yang selalu berbisik madah rindu
Kini membisu dalam sayu
Tidak ku temu suaramu

Kekasihku di jalanan yang berliku
Di saat ku perlukanmu
Tertutup jua segalanya terhadapmu
Di sini ku tersedu-sedu

Setelah cinta pergi
Ku mengusung duka ini diiringi
Kisah janji dimungkiri lagi

Kekasihku di jalanan yang berliku
Di saat ku perlukanmu
Tertutup jua segalanya terhadapmu
Di sini ku tersedu-sedu

Setelah cinta pergi
Ku mengusung duka ini
Diiringi

Kisah janji
Dimungkiri
Dimungkiri

Sia-sia ku
Mencintaimu
Setia padamu
Percayakanmu

Sebak dadaku
Retak hatiku
Luka jiwaku
Dihiris pilu

Sia-siaku
Mencintaimu
Setia padamu
Percayakanmu

Sebak dadaku
Retak hatiku
Luka jiwaku
Dihiris pilu

Beribu sesalanku

operation?

OMG!!

aku btol2 kne operate upenye...

tkot seyh..

hai lutut...

tlong la jgn wat hal..

aku xnk operate..

klu la buleh healing sndri...

aku sanggup tunggu..

ergh..

hurm..

cm ne nk g tournament nawl oct ni??

adeh..

nk men sport..

bile da cacat cmne..

da xleh maen lak..

adeh

busan ar

xsuke nye..

sume movement terbatas..

benci2!!

knpe la ko wat hal time2 camne lutut oiy..

aisey men..

potong line tol la.

hurm..

mintk2 la..

sume ok ..

n

aku still leh wat my routine everyday as usual.

Wish You Were Here mok...

3 sept 11 @ 5th syawal

hurm..

selame nie aku tkot klau2 aku sorng yng bertepuk tgn..

tp ..

lpas aku tnyer die..

jwapan nye agak mengembirakan hati aku..

jawapan die...

wat tman haty aku berbunga.

haha..

klau lah berterusan relation aku dan die..

syukur alhamdulillah xterkate rasenye..

hurm..

hopefully our relation end with goods..

saya sayunk kamo..

syawal 11

hurm..

hari ni last day aku kat kl..

sok aku lek jb da..

da 14hari aku cuti..

tp cikit pon xde mase tok aku jumpe die kejap..

hurm..

mungkin xde rezeki..

lepass nie..

die strt bz smbung blaja lagi..

aku pn bz with my clas..

hurm..

nth bile aku dapt jumpe lagi..

haty aku ada kamo

hurm..

hampir stahun berlalu..

kesah kau dan aku..

tetap xilang dari dalam diriku..

nama kau masih ade di haty ku..

hurm..

walaupon beberape orng cume tok mendapatkan ku..

namun..

haty aku tidak dapat menerima mereka..

entah knape..

aku cube tok melupuskan nama kau di hatyku..

dengan mencube nama baru di haty aku..

tp..

haty aku berkeras tok membiarkan nama kau di haty ku..

hurm..

wahai kamo..

aku taw aku bkn perempuan pilihan kamo..

aku mngkin tidak layak dalm carta senarai ciri2 wanita pilihan kamo..

hurm..

kamo...

im sowy coz i cant let u go from my heart..

u still the king on mine..

hurm..

im so sorry..

y its happen to me?

owh..arinie..i really missed him..

i dunno y...

aku taw aku wat salah lagi..

tp..

i jus go thre to pick up my fren..

is it wrong ?

hurm..

mok..

im so sorry..

i terase lain dgn u after i told u evrything..

im sorry again..

14 days

14 hari sudah...

aku ade kt Seremban Specialist nie..

hurm..

even aku posted kat ward yng pling worse..

tp frankly said..

aku suke kje citu..

heaven je..

urm..

dalam dua mnggu nie gak..

asl off day je aku grak blik kl..

n semalam aku sampai dri bkit beruntung around 1.15pm..

kul 1.45pm.pakcik van da hon dpn umh aku..

hahaha...its work time..

OMG!!!/..

aku penat giler seyh..

tp seb bek ar semlm xrmai sgt patient..

huhu..

nway..

i jus ..

wanna shout out sumthing..

IM TOTALLY LIKE IT SRI SELASIH WARD!!!!

THE STAFF ALL ROCKS.!!!

saya cinta kamu.

I LOVE YOU

Its not a weight you must carry around..

I LOVE YOU

Its not a box that holds you in..

I LOVE YOU

Its not a standard you have to bear...

I LOVE YOU

Its not a sacrifice that you make..

I LOVE YOU

Its not a pedestal you frozen upon..

I LOVE YOU

Its not an expectation of perfection..

I LOVE YOU

Its not my life's whole purpose ( or yours )

I LOVE YOU

Its not even to make you love me..

I LOVE YOU

Its as pure and simple as that..

and yes i do love you ever after eventhough there nuthing between us..i wont n cant forgot u ever..

mimpi

mimpi..

tiap detik yang pergi..

kuratapi..

tiap kenangan yang datang..

ku selami..

acap kali linangan air mata melimpahi tebing duka..

diri ini terlalu menginginkan detik-detik manis itu..

namun..

Qa'da dan Qa'dar nya..

lebih ampuh...

aku pasrah..

aku redha..

memori tu akan ku simpul mati..

bersama sekeping hati yng pernah dan tidak akan berhenti mencintaimu...

harapan ku..

agar kau selalu bahagia..

dan..

aku juga berharap..

mungkin satu tika nnt..

kita kan bersama semula..

hingga akhir hayat..

24 MAY 2011

2305 HOURS

i missed my GMOK!

semalam..

aku kua ngn nad , daia n apai..

hurm..

g desaru..

from the whole journey..

aku le dikatekan senyap ar gak..

sbb aku bce buku..

'thousand splendid'..

hurm..

even aku dok bce buku kt blakang..

n daia lak tdo..

tp aku leh kte dgr n prasan gak la nad n apai kt depn tu...

hurm..

nth knpe ek..

leh lak tringt ari aku kua ngn mok bru2 nie..

hurm..

knpe la aku rse windu gler kt die tibe2..

mybe aku jrng text kot?

n die pon replied cam nk xnk..

xpe la..

da bese da..

hurm..

tp seyes la..

aku tringt how was us walk along at MID..

the way he secured me in KTM...

the way he knee down sincerely to put on plaster at my feet..

hurm..

it really unexpected..

aku cm xsngka giler die pakaikan aku plaster..

mse die mntk tu..

aku ingt die so aku pakai..

sat g...

die tunduk n pakai kan..

ya Allah..

terharu nye rse hty..

n it wasnt end there..

dlm KTM pon cmtu gak..

be4 nie..

mse aku kua as couple ngn die pon..

aku xpnh rse di secured smpai mcm tu sklli..

hurm..

thnx again mok..

hurm..

mok..

u kept doing sweet thing when i was wit u...

how could i forgot u?

i can't do it at all..

the more u do..

the mre fall love towards u..

im sorry coz it happened...

hurm..

really missed u mok..

hangout with nad , daia , and apai...

aha..

after almost 2years aku dok kt jb nie..

bru smlm la aku de jln jauh sikit..

g kota tinggi n desaru..

huhuhu...besh giler..

dapt lak g ngn dak2 bilik aku yng sememangnye giler..

hahaha..

hurm..

actually nk g mndi air terjun je..

but then..bile da smpai kt kota...

org tu ckp..

'leh msk je ek..tp xleh mandi..sbb tp ujan..air laju'

adeh..

putus sudah arapan..

pastu..

mule la si nad nie mngeluarkan idea g desaru..

apai lak ikotkan aje..

huhu..

hurm..

almost 4plus pm gak la kitorng smpai kt desaru tu..

ceh..mule poyo je..

xmo mndi la..

nk men air je la..

sat g..xsmpi 10minit..

da..abis bsh bju...

huhu..

sronok gler ar..

kinda...erm.

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?

Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?

You fall deeper with each passing day,

But try to hide it in every possible way.

He's only a friend, and nothing else--

That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.

You keep on saying he's just a bud,

But deep inside, you're falling in love.

You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,

But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.

A simple glance turns into a stare,

But you pretend that you don't care.

It's "not right" for you two to be.

Is that why you hide it so no one can see?

But how long will you pretend?

Keep lying that he's just a friend?

Perhaps your feelings you can never show.

Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.

Your friendship can't be risked over this,

So being his girl is an impossible wish..

but is it impossible?

happy mother's day..

Hurm....

ari nie..

hari ibu sedunie.

i tod i may clebrate it with my mom..

but then..

it jus on my dream...

my mom was miles away from me!!

hurm..

i wish i could hugs ibu before im back to JB!!!!

owH gosh..

i really missed ibu rite now..

mcm da lame gler xjumpe..

pdahal bru smnggu...

klu dok jb tu..

sebuln xjumpe pn xrse mcm nie..

hurm...

IBU!!!!

I WINDU KT U!!!

CM NE NIE!!!!

I NK HUGS U SKRANG!!!

im trying to be women ..not a female...

seorng perempuan diciptakan untuk menjadi seorg muslimah..

seorng perempuan kadang2 menjadi tulang blakang bg seseorang lelaki...

seorng perempuan itu kadang2 terlalu naik budi pekertinye..

tp..

seorng perempuan tu jugak bule menjadi ketua segala dosa..

seorng perempuan tu jugak buleh menjdi pemusah sebuah keluarga bahagia...

seorng perempuan jugak leh jadik penyebab suatu keburukan..

tp..

semua tu bergantung pada dri sndri..

xsemua orng perlukan perubahan..

tp kadang2 perubahan tu membawa lebih kepada kebaikan dari keburukan

hurm..

i had few words..

tht i will hold it till i deadth..

tht was..

' i carik seorng perempuan ataw wanita..tp bukan betine...i carik perempuan tok dibuat isteri..bkk perempuan tok bersuke ria..'

thnx to whom tht gave me the words..

plik je

hurm..

smlam aku grak g ipoh..

i was texting with him whole journey..

n today..

i didnt ave any msg from him..

till i text him..

but then..

he was late rplied..

n seems blur..

hurm..

im wondering wat did he do..

hurm..

when i was on my way back to kl...

i suddenly took my phone n read all the inbox..

and..

i suddenly recall..

wat happend to us on last tuesday early mornink..

hurm..

we has been throu very good day togther..

hang around..movie...mcd..window shopping..

but then..on the nite..

i suddenly had big curiosity im my mind..

im wondering if wat did i read was rite?

then i strictly ask him..

hurm..

u...

im sowi if i might make u sad coz wat did i ask..

i dun mean it..

i need to knew to clear my mind..

hope it doesnt affect nything..

n hurm..

im sowi to say..

i knew u mybe trase by my words..

but u do doing the same..

u also make me trse...

when u equate me with no***..

hurm..

did i look same 4 u?

xpe la..

i xamik ati pon..

u might b to stressfull..

its okay..

now everything was cleared...

hurm..

thnx 4 ur explaination..

im really glad to knew it..

thnx again..

quickie lunch date..

ahaha..

arinie..

aku g lunch ngn dak gmok..

urm..

arinie supposely die kje..tp wat pale sndri..

mmg sesuki die je bile die nk blik..

da la bru second day kje..

da wat perangai..

kul 12 blik..kul 4 datng lek..

hadoiy...

mmg xle nk kte ape da..

xpe la u..

kite date kejap ek..

date kt pasar keramat..

ahahaa..

lawak je..

nk wat cmne..

klu dirancang mmg xpn jadi..

so kne la sudden je..

nway..

thnx 4 tmn lunch td!!

~ MR.Z ~

hurm..

02052011

the day i wont forgot at all..

my first hangout with him..

after broke up after 7months..

n again the venue was the same..

midvalley for movie n mc'd..

urm..

eventhou we already broke up..

but we seems like nuthing happen..

the most memories ever after..

hurm..

kepada Mr. Z...

sya syunk awk sgt2..

love you la..huhu

thnx pakaikan plaster kt blister saya td..

n awk wat sya rse secured sangat mse dlm train otw blik..

trime kasih awk!

hurm..

bkn nk bg kamo bngga..

tp..terpakse gak ckp..coz dat was did i felt..

im being myself when i was u..

n only can gve me the sincere smile ever..

i have no idea wat types of gas did u gave for me till i can felt that..

nway..

again...thnx!!

im very hppy each time hang around with u!!

SAYA SYUNK KAMO KUAT2!!

good motivation

hurting me

its hurting me once i love you

but what is the way

for me to forget you?

days by days..

i kept praying to forget u..

i kept praying that i may forget u if u didnt meant for me..

but you always in my mind?

how could that be?

who ar you actually?

why i've like this since i let you go..

n since u find me again..??????

its the time

the time u ask me to walk away..

then i will walk away..

without turning back..

you such nuthing..

you just being fool to me..

im wondering who are you..

did i know you?

why its to hard for me to let you go..

why its to hard for me to forget you..

i knew im hurting myself

by keeping u as my goodies

its you..

its you..

its you that hurts me!

so now its the time..

its the time for me to learnt

its the time for me to leave you

its the time for me to walked away from you without turn around..

my bad day..

hurm..today was very bad day for me..

argue with te staff..

misunderstood wit my own fren..

haish...

im stuck!!!

since yesterday..i felt like fuck off!!

lots of things appen around me..

hurrm...

few my fren jus came back from work..

i felt sumting unconfortable suddnly..

n yet..

one of them also felt the same thing..

haish..

its quit ard to make people understnd wht did we had giving hint actually..

but then..when we need to be strictly mke her understnd..

they will misunderstood..

hello!!!

i got my own reason y did i shout out it like that ok!!!

im not like suke2 jus shout like tht...

i knew its very annoying and irritating..

im sorry ok..

i dont meant it..

hurm..

watever it is..

i didnt mad..n for me ..i didnt take this as sensitive issue which i need to take care while i was saying bout it..

it nutiing ok..

could for plis understood me 4 moments..

n try to understnd the reason y i shout it like that???????????

im stuck in both

hurm...

semalam..setelah sekian lama..

akhirnye aku mengaku kat zul yang aku still love him..

hurm..aku syukur sbb aku da branikan diri tok ckp hal tu..

tp..

aku sndri takot klu die trase aku nie ape lak nnt..

hurmm..

semalam pon aku chatiing ngn ali..

hurm..

ali luahkan ape die rse selame nie kat aku..

urmm..

im sowi ali..

how could i accept u if i had sumbody else inside my heart..

im totally sowi ali..

i knew i hurt u to much..

zulfadli..

i know that i dont deserve to felt it towards u nymore..

but..i also dont know why its to hard for me to forget u as my ex lover..

hurm..

what should i do??

when the CHN period was over..

aha...

today my last day 4 CHn posting.

n for the last day..

atlast..madam knew oue bhviour...

ohoho.

its such a good moment today..

we had laugh together..

aha..

the most happy day ever.

sume gara2 farahun n maom..

giler.

abis madam pon tergelak skli..

first tyme msg2 wat perangai kat umah PATIENT!!!

aha..

seb bek..patient ok nyer..

hahah...

mmg ngok sgt2 farahun tdi..

eauw..

kne samak la...

measure tape td..

hahahahah...

after 11 days

after 11 days..

ketenangan aku makin suram dari hari ke hari..

mungkin amalan harian ku telah aku tinggalkan..

aku mula leka ngn kehidupan aku di dunia..

harinie..

aku menangis di tikar sejadah..

terasa betapa kerdil diri aku..

terasa betapa berdosanya diriku..

hurm..

alhamdulillah..

sebaik shaja aku sarungkan telekung ke badanku..

aku dapat rse suatu ketenangan yang aku aku tinggalkan selame nie...

aku harap aku dapat kekalkan ketenangan aku nie selamanye..

ketenangan yang aku cri

alhamdulillah...

setelah sekian lama..

aku mencari ketenangan nie.

akhirnye aku dapt gak rasainye..

ketenangan yang aku cari selama nie..

ade disekeliling ku..

tp aku xrasai n jiwainye..

hurm...

ketenangan yng aku cari..

persahabtan yang aku windui..

aku temui skunk..

trime kasih..

tok sume yng mnolong aku..

tunjuk jalan menuju ketenangan nie..

aku harap ketenangnku berkekalan..

aha..akhirnye

hurm..

thnx 4 all the words tht i read from u...

atleast i can make the comparison 4 the baseline data..

be4 i proceed with the goal and intervention

at least i realize the diagnose n supporting data..

hurm..

its okay for me..

i will be ur listener..

it ok..

im done with u..

do wat ever u want ..

that may gave hapiness 4 u..

hatiku ade kamo..

kamu..

kedatangan kamu memberiku kegembiraan..

kedatangan kamu memberiku kebahagiaan..

tp..

kedatangan kamu juga beri aku luka..

beri aku kesedihan..

kedatangan kamu sebentar..

tp..

bisa buat hatiku terluka.

setelah 2thun..

aku manyembunyikan hatiku.

dari orang2 sekelilingku..

namun..

kau shaja yang berjaya menjumpai..

dan cube mengetuk pintu hatiku..

ketukan kamo sungguh kuat..

pantas membenarkan aku tok membuka pintu hatiku buat diri kamo.

kamo..

sesungguhnye..

kedatangan kamo ku nanti..

kepergian kamo aku tangisi..

kamo..

entah kenape..

hatiku tertutup dan kusembunyikan sejak pemergian kamo..

beberape org cube mencari dan mngetuk nye..

tp..

tidak akan aku terima ketukan mereka..

kamo..

tanggal 20-12-2010..

kam membawa khabar berita sedih buwat diri kamo..

walaupon perkhabaran kamo itu telah kutahui terlebih dahuu..

namun..

aku masih bersedih melihat keadaan kamo kecewa dan terluka..

kamo..

aku akui hatiku melonjak kegembiraan..

pabila mendengar khabar sedih dari kamo..

aku bersyukur kamo mengmbil keputusan begitu..

kerna aku tahu apa yng berlaku sebenarnye..

wahai sahabt terbaik dan kekasih hati aku..

jangan kamo bersedih tentang perkara sebegitu.

mungkin ada hikmah disebalik nye..

kamo..

ingin aku akui disini.

hati aku msh punye nama kamo sorng..

maafkan aku kerna xboleh padamkan nama kamo..

kerna aku masih belom jumpa peganty dri kamo..

sweet memories..

kenangn aku dan kamo..

ckup byk..

cukup indah buat aku wlaupon skit tok aku hadapi..

aku harapkan kngn aku ini..

xkan terlupus dri ingtan ku..

apasal aku nie

hurm..

apasal aku nie?

kehadiran die wat aku terisi..

tp..

pertutura die wat aku rimas..

ketiadaan die wat aku tercari2..

aku taw..

die pasti marah akan aku..

die pasti terase akan kelakuan aku..

aku seperti wat die mcm mainan..

aku amik bile aku keseorngan..

aku buang bile aku jumpe yng menarik..

aku crik semula..

bile aku perlukannya..

hurm...

maafkan sy..

Cintailah Aku Sepenuh Hati

aku harap pertemuan kedua aku dgn kau beri aku sdikit keceriaan..

jangan kau luka dan skiti aku lagi..

no idea

hurmm..

its almost a week..

im waiting 4 my answer about my question..

i jus want to knew the truth n y ?

is it to hard 4 u to anwering it?

or r u searching 4 a point to pointing at me?

hurm..

naaa..

watever..

hurm...

dearie..

sy tnyer awk soklan tu sbb sy tertnyer2 jawapn tu..

da lame sy nk tnyer kt awk..

tp keadaan buat pertanyaan sy tu terbantut..

sy ngaku..

hty sy still tok awk..

sbb tu sy tnyer soklan tu..

sy nk kan kepastian..

sy tkot sy tunggu org yng salh..

sy xnk yng ditunggu xdapt..yng kt sekeliling sy lak berciciran..

sy xnk bnda tu jdi..

walaupon..

ader 3-4 org approach sy..

siap de ajak sy kawen agy..

tp..

sy ktekan 'tak'..

sbb sy nk taw jawapan awk..

jwapan awk mngkin bg peluang kt org lain..

jawapn awk jugak mungkin merupakan penutup harapan org lain..

awk je leh tntukan tu sume..

skrng..

terpulang kamo..

nway..

im sad to felt this..

sumtimes i felt like..

u treat me like a rubbish..

u throw it when u don like it..

u take it when u need it..

u played it when u want it..

but then..

again..u throw it back..

when u found sumthing else tht attacted..

thnx to you....

now i know..

atlast..

i think i knew wat is the answer 4 my question towards u..

u dun have to answer it nymore..

i dont need ur answer for it..

its to long 4 me to wait again..

u make me waiting once..

n..

now..

u make it again..

hurm..im wodering if my hard wasnt to hard to answer..

hurmm..

naaa..

its ok..

u wont have answering nymore..

ur words..

'xde mod nk bls'

it to enough for me to have my own answer 4 my question..

thnx again..

kamu dihatiku selamenya

Betapa hancur hatiku meninggalkan dirimu
Tetapi itu bukanlah gundahku
Kita memang tlah berbeda
Tak pernah satu kata
Tak baik untuk diteruskan

Tapi ku tak sangka secepat ini
harus berakhir cerita cinta kita

Ku akan selalu mencintaimu
Walau kita tak mungkin bersama
Meski berat melepasmu
Tapi kamu akan selalu dihatiku selamanya

Betapa hancur hatiku meninggalkan dirimu
Tetapi itu bukanlah gundahku
Kita memang tlah berbeda
Tak pernah satu kata
Tak baik untuk diteruskan

Tapi ku tak sangka secepat ini
harus berakhir cerita cinta kita

01012011

aha..

new year sudah tba..

seems like kne tunaikan azam dis year lak.

hurm..

diz year..new year ke -3 aku jauh ngn family..

2009

1st new year aku jauh ngn family...

mase aku kt kltn..

pergh.busn tahap cipan mse new year kt sane..

seb bek ade gak bebudak skepale ngn aku..

i means dak2 lua klntn..

so wat game..huhu..aku la kepalenye..

have fun gler seyh..

siap men baling2 tepung g..

yng xleh bla..

men tawaf satu PINK2 kot..kat 3kli!!!

ahah..sumpah best gle..

tp bile da abis da clbrte..

sumthing happen on me..

de org sound2 aku lak..

katenye aku amik boy die...

hadoiy!!

WTF!!

aku mmber je kot ngn boy die..

hurm..

tp..

thnx got to gmok..

sebb die revenge blik tok aku..

huhu..

i love u la lalink..

huhu..

2010

my 2nd year new year without family..

ahah..at first aku happy gle coz i tod jb cuty 1hb..

plus..

mmber2 aku dak jb kt kltn tu dlu sbuk kate jb cm kl..

so i tod jb look like kl..

so leh la g meronggeng..

tp...

xxde mknenye!!!

aku de exam plak 1hb tu..

pergh..seyes kuciwa kejap..

huhuhuhuhuhu....

2011

aha..

new year ke3 without family..

and new year ke2 kt jb..

oho..

dis tyme aku ngh praktikal..

ingt leh la melepak jap..

tp..

alahai..

kot assgmnt lak kne ciapkan 4 presentation the next day..

aha..

clbrate new year sorng2..

kt atas katil depan lappy with kertas2 belambak tas katil aku..!!

ergh..

sedey sgt lol!!!!