Its about 3days left before entering the year of 2014...
A year that my title supposely change to somone's partner...but that is all about my passed which is I may not turning back...
To many things happened on this year..starting get in love with sum1..yet dump by him...but im so damn glad coz I do have my best ever besfren..whom act like my guard..my boyfren...my pillow..n alway lending me a shoulder to cry..thnx!
I couldnt imagine my life without u on my side...
However..day by day..the aged getting increasing...I couldnt stop u looking on other gurl to b ur partner...hurm...seems like I have to step away...letting u go..looking on ut future partner which is u should look for...
Even though letting u go is the hardest that I have to do...but that the only way that I have...n yes...I kept prayed...n wishing that I dont ever have to letting u go...stil being my best shoulder to cried on...n pillow...n my warmer....hopefully..my dream came true...

ubat hati duka lara

Its almost 8months it happened...
And I...im still the old person whom keep looking for sum1 that already written at Long mahfuz that he is my mr right..

Hurm...
Sumthing when the time passed n I was alone..
Its made me keep thinking where was my mistake...
But..wat ever that happened..
Im glad that there is a guy always be my side no matter how I am...but yet I do still gonna loose him once he had sumbody else...the circle of lone ranger will started back...

Dear guy out there....
Plis do in love with the gurl sincerely...
Do plis take care of her nicely...
A women wasnt a cloth which u may change everyday...
Jgn cbe syng seseorg kalau ade niat akan meninggalkan....
Jgn cbe mencri yg lain hanya sbb utk mmbalas rasa...
Jus plis put on urself in shoes of person that u hurt...

sudah ckup sudah

alhamdullilah..berkat kesabaran aku..
akhirnye..die meluahkan rasa dihaty..
hurm..
tamparan hebat untuk aku selepas 2thun menyembunyikan haty dri sesiapa..
dikala aku sedang amik mood tok bekerja petang..
bbm die sgt menyentap rse hati aku..
tp xpe..
mungkin die bkn jdh terbaik untuk aku...
semoga Allah SWT merahmati hubungn kalian berdua.
semoga berbahgia ke akhir hayat..

terima kasih awk..
terima kasih sbb syg sy even sekejap..
dgn ikhlas atau tidak tu..hanya awak sja ade jwpannye..
trime kasih awak..
trima kasih sbb peraku sy seperti anak ptung yng dibelai disyang bile sunyin dibuang bile puye penganti..
trime kasih tuk semua..
sungguh pon sy xterpikir awk seperti nie..
mgkin slsh saya..
slh sy nilai awak..
slh sy trime awk..
saya redha...

title...

hurm..
its about 5days more to reach out a month..
kinda miss having a boyfriend whom always seek for time 4 me..
hurm..
naaa..
enough emi..
u dont have the time nymore..
u r working..
n same goes to him..
u shouldn't ask for his time..

aiyak..
u too bz lately...
kdg2 nk mntk tlg amik blik kje or anta g kje pon rse cam...
kne fkir byk kli...
boleh ke???
xssahkan ke??

ok2..
i noted that u have own daily target..
sumting too reached on..
to earn more money or enough money before flying to the Makkah..

ok noted..
do understnad his condition emi..
he couldn't have enough time for himself..
u cant jus keep waiting for him too be with u all the time...
hurm..

i cant stop wondering either he being like this latey due of he already get use of it 4 almost past 7years or....
hurm...
mybe i should get use on it too..
ok noted..
will try too get use..

kejelesan mulai terasa

ok..
harini hari aku physio n ngedate time...
n hrini gak..
apasal nth..aku sgt terasa jeles..
sblom nie elok je hah..
sikit pon aku xeran klu si dia cerita ade org mnt die...
tp rini.
haish..
ini sudah lebih!!!
hahaha

haish..
die crita tntang seseorg...
apesal ak haty aku cm nk meletop je dgr cite tu?
jus bcoz of he got free krusher form sum1 whom like him..
aku jeles cmnie skli..
hadoiy.
parah ko nie mie!!!

#haish..sle nie xde pon rsenk jeles bagai...apsal skrg tibe2 nie?do im gonna loose him?#

panggilan itu,,,

Alhamdullilah..

die diseru untuk panggilan itu..

hurm..

entah knpe..

perkataan die..

'sy mybe g umrah satu family jun nie..'

buat aku terfikir kan mmpi die dahulu..

mgkin jika dipermudahkan urusan..

die mnjejakkan kki di sana..

die diberikan petunjuk tuk langkah seterusnya..

dan...

untuk sementara itu..

mngiraan hari yng sllu nye mnjadi rutin di bbm die utk update dihentikan sementara...

mngelak kn hati tidak dapat menerima kenyataan...

so be prepared from now..

hurm..

andai itu takdirnya..

takdirnya die bkn milik aku...

aku mngkin hanya menunggu jdh itu dtg dgn sndri..

tnpa mencari..sbb mencari itu menyakitkan sbnarnye..

#mood:menunggu sesuatu yng kurng pasti itu mendebarkan..semoga dia org yng tepat..#

131days

it already been 131 days been together 

n today was our day out after 15 days away coz of too bz with our own work..

hurm..

and yes ..

aku jd mcm haritu blik..

it takes time 4 me to get use while meet up with him..

being a bit of silent person n keep thinking ape nk dibualkan...

sorry awk..

masing2 bz sgt kan..

nk wat camne..

dua2 kje shift..

hurm..

dearie mok2..

kamo xsyg sy ?

kamo xrindu sya?

dont  u love me?

hurm...

getting marriage..

m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e...

hurm..

huge responsiblity 4 only a word..

lallalala..

tp knpe cm ramai je mmber2 aku nk kawen nie..

adoi..

kental gilo jiwe korg nie nk kawen awl..

hakhak..

xpe la..da smpai serukan..

heeee...

hurm..

nk tunggu aku nye nasik mnyk?

tunggu jangut aku cm a samad said ok..

hhahah..

so..

kesimpulannye..

aku jd tukng mkn nsk kenduri korg je la ok..

haha..gomok la aku!!

aish..

bile da kne attend knduri byk2..n jauh2 nie la..

bru terase..kn bgus ade kete sndri..

xyh mnyusahkn ssape..

or kne tompang sessape..

cpt la bln enam!!!

hahaha

kawen jom?

jom kawen?

knpe la kawen tu kne blnje byk..?

knpe la kawen tu jd ssh ?

zaman dulu..kawen tu jus perlukan wali mas kwin je..

sekrng kawen..adoiy..sume nk gah bagai..

last2 cerai..adeyh..mmbzir je duet kawen grand2..

eah..

ape bondo la den merepek2 nie ha?

haha..

datang dah mood gilo aku pepagi buto nie hah..

hurm...........

cer klu aku ckp kt die

'jom kawin?'

xde effect kot.?

die pon da lame xckp gitu ke aku?

byk bnde mikior kot..

cer klu anta msg plak?

haha..bkn die bce pon..sbb die sdng lena diulit mimpi..

haish..

jelesnye aku..

org lain sdp tido..

aku lak merepek2 kt blog nie..

3rd january 2013

after 11days..
its time for us..
jus two of us..
kinda felt like our first date..

hurm..
time passing so fast..
from 2pm..to almost 10pm..
was like too short for us..
hurm..
mybe the how we both act makes we felt it..

hurm..seriously..
i being to silent..
i dont know y.
and same goes to him..
i was wondering where is the mistakes..
hurm...
i can count how jokes that make us laugh together..
hurm..

i felt weird..
all usual things tht he always does wach time we hang out..
he doesnt do it at all..

n the time come..
on  the middle of the nite..
he told me sumthing
n i already got the hint before he spoke..

hurm..
seyesly i cried on the nyte once i read his bbm..
he ask me to do istikarah..
n yet...my tears run fast.!
the nite seems to long for me..
i was keep thinking about it..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku..
Kau permudahkan lah segala urusan kami..
Kau panjangkan lah jodoh antara kami ini...

Ameeen....

the big day..

07122012

was my big day..
the convocation..
alhamdullillah..
praise to Allah S.W.T..
dgn izinNya..
i've finished my Diplomas In Nursing...

hasil titik peluh aku selama 4tahun setengah akhirnya berbaloi..
hurm...
all my family was gather together..
n..
including him..
at first..
i dun aspect that ibu will gave permission on him to came on the day..
i was bit shock bile ibu sndri bg idea soh tumpang nama org lain if he wanna get in too..
tp...xpe la..he refused to get in..
he was accompanied with my along n angah..
im glad n happy that all my family mmbers ok with him..
alhamdullilah..

jus u and mie..

today is 31122012..

100days away been in love with him..
hurm..kinda lots of change happened actually..
n there is hard things to do so..

hurm...
this last few days seem hard for me..
i don't know y..
hurm...
being away about six days n just being connected by bbm..
make me felt like i'm just his fren..
i do notice he was very bz..but y did my heart felt like this way..
hurm..
after six day..there the only day that im free..n he was on offday..
i finished my shift at 2pm..awaiting for him till 4pm..
my heart keep pumping faster...
but yet once i meet him..
i felt like im just his fren..
hurm...
there lots of curious in my mind actually..
i do have lots of question for him to answer..
but then..once i got knew i do not hang out only with him..
so i do prefered to keep it shut..
n when we otw to send me home..
i do want to asked him...but still i cant continue it..
coz it the only precious time that i do have with him..
it jus only 2 of us..even it about only 10minute..

haish...
i wish i could heard his word..
regard marriage..n bla2..
but then..none..
hurm...
is it only me whom felt it?
aigoo..

worker..

it almost 2months plus aku da start keje..

n pling best will be..the GAJI!!

haha..

da 2kali aku dapat gaji..

alhamdulillah..

aku dimurahkan rezeki..

hee..

gaji pertama aku diuruskan dengn sebaik mungkin...

gaji kedua aku pulak..banyak dihabiskan tok my family..

mudah mudahan..hasil titti peluh aku di berkati..

amin..

hee...

w-o-r-k-i-n-g

its friday..
another 2days to go bA aku laporkan diri d HKL as staff registered nurse..

hurm..
3bln lbh aku da jd penanam anggur berjaya..
n slame tu jgak..
mcm2 jadi kt aku  nie ha...
and one of it was..
i meet a guy..
a guy yng mmperkenalkan aku bkn sebagai gurlfren...tp bakal isteri..
hurm..

after been together 4 almost 3weeks..
this week mnggu pling truk..
knpe la aku sllu sgt terase ngn die...
knpe la aku terase ragu2 dgn die..
shri dua nie plak..
ex die pm aku kt fb.
hurm..
aku jadi xde mood nk berbbm wassap or ape2 je berkenaan ngn die..
even tu bkn slh die..
tp knpe aku hukum die?

hurm..
ni aku lom strt kje g..
da mcm2 jd..
aku xtaw la bile aku da strt kje nnt mcm mne..
haish..
semoga segalanya dipermudahkan...
ameen...

yakin kan aku..

since the second date..aku da xde dah kua dating officially as plan..
asal ade time kosong je..tu je la ade mse date aku n die..
cian die..orgnye baran..tp sgt penyabar ngn chintun atie die nie...
aish..sbnrnye..at first..aku xde pon chintun kt die..sbb ayat die sgt tebu dibibir..
tp bile byk kli die ckp yng di jujur sbnrnye ngn aku..aku pon termkn tebu tu..
aish..

day by day...
the more i love him..
thnx b..
i know u love me more then i know..
but then...
hurm..
smnggu after die break off..
aku ter add ex-gf die..
ntah kenape la tgn nie gtai sgt..
n then..ex die pm aku to take care of him...
surely i will do..
but then..gye ex die mcm..hurm...
nth la..
aku sndri xtaw nk ckp cmne..
hurm...
aku nie perampas ke?
aku nie kacau hubungan org ke?
jahat sangat ke aku nie?
hurm....

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan ku..
Kau tunjuk kan lah jalan yng benar untuk hambamu ini..
Kau kuatkan la hati hambamu ini..
Kau yakin kan la aku bahawa pilihan aku adalah benar...
Ameen....

diberi nama mohd firdaus bin zakarial..tua 4thun dri aku..
laki2 yng baran tp sgt penyabar melayan kerenah aku..
hee..
suke sgt!!!

sesunggguhnye..xpenah aku terpkir yng aku blh jtuh cinta ngn die..lelaki yng sllu aku skit ati bile aku terserempk kt skolah dlu..laki2 yng zaharah gile2 kan dlu..
tnag mane yng die gier kan tu..aku sndri xtaw..

heee..after almost 3weeks aku ngn die..aku xpnh rse die boyfren aku..tp aku rse die bkl suami aku..
sbb aku terase sgt dilindungi..disyngi..dicintai bile dgn die..
smoga Allah mmberkati hubungn aku dan die..

heee...
walaupon die byk copy paste aku..antaranye...

- suke mkn smbl sotong
-suke merah n putih-tinggi same
- anak ke3
-agak baran
-kelas same!! 5 MAJU!!!
n more...tp die ttap yng aku syg sllu..

walaupon orgnye
-buncit..
-gomok..
-badak air katanye..-
-jalan mcm org mlas..
xhensem..tp sgt perasan ensem..

tp die jugak la lelaki yng berjaya duduk hati aku after 2years aku break off...
..ni la bolster sy..

its happened about a month ago..
he came in my life as a old fren..
he add my bb pin..

Day 1 : meet up for about 3hours..watching 'Resident Evil' at VIVA..at first i saw him..serious shit aku segan..sebb die senior aku..laki yng kawan aku pnh gilekan dlu..tang mne yng kawan aku gilekan tu..aku sndri xtaw..ahha...nway...sowi la yek..disbbkn aku terllu segan..aku act mmg sangt annoying..gnagster katenye..ahak!! sumph kelakar...tp yng xleh blah n xkn lupe smpai bile2...aku dok tegak je tgk movie!! sumpah seat tu mmbunuh pinggang aku!!erk!!!!

Day 2 : die dtg after wedding kwan die..wa..snggup lpak ngn aku after wedding sepupu gurlfren die..
masuk2 kete..ade mmbe die 2org..ok aku senyap! sbb aku kn penyegan..hahah..puuiihh..after anta kawan die..we heading to MINES..hahhaha..niat dihati nk tgk cte antu..tp kelaut!! last2 wat koje gilo..ngbiskan minyak round kl-ou-cheras..sume la..smpai la time around 7pm..sbb aku ader dinner..hurm..4 the first time..aku rse free giler otak aku bile wat gitu..hee...thnx again.
n he buy 4 me the cd!!OMG!! snggup gitu..terrase sikit terharu..tp xleh tunjuk..tkot t terperasan..=P

Day 3: hang out lpak mkn with my fren...hurm..seyesly mamat nie mereng..tp sumpah aku selesa ngn die..die wat cam aku da lame giler knl die..thnx..heee...n its the time hti aku terusik sikit..aku xsht..xde org eeling pnh tlong pegangkan hndbeg aku selame aku hidup bergaye mcm pompuan n handbeg nie..n he be the first..alsaan die sbb aku pon cm xok..so he help me holding it..hurm..bile da samapi time nk blik umh..kki aku terase sikit berat..hati aku mcm ade rse pelik..rse pe tu?nth..mls pk buleh?
after msing2 da smpi umh...cm bese bbm n wassap tu wajib..hahah..kawan je..tp mcm xlngkp idup aku klu xkco idup die shri...mase die ckp xlngkp idop die ku aku xwish mornink ritu pon aku da terase lain mcm..tp mls pkir..sbb tkot feeling lebih..malu den nnt..hahah

Start our day together after 3times hngout together..

1st date as my lover @ the OU..
searching my kasut kje..ksut along..movie..ops..ade crite kt dalm movie tu!!
ahaha..kate nye tgk cte "BAIT"...separuh je cite nye aku tgk..pastu kua..sbb aku skit pinggng da..hhaha..
tp die sgt amik brt sal aku..saagt terase disyangi..dilindungi bile dgn die..thnx b..

2nd date @ the pasar keramat!!
ahah..sumpah nk glak time nie..xpnh dibuat org..tp tu laaku la yng buat camtu..hahah..dating kt pasar..bli ayam..kelapa..ikn bilis..n xleh blh nye..mcm jnji lak paki bju putih same2..haha..mngkin die btol2 jodoh aku..

next date to be continue..

thnk NURUL ATHIRAH AHMAD KAMAR

my 1st weekend holiday without my own family..

menumpang kasih sayang pada yng sudi..

hurm...

weekend baru2 nie...

i was spending my time with all my beloved frens familia!!

it was tyra's family..

hurm..

bleh masuk rupenya aku dlm family tu...

i tod x..

huhu..

watever it is..

it very tiring hliday!!

but superb happening..

eventhou lots things happend..

it was nice to meet BUSU..

huhu..

seronok!best lepak ngn die..

caya la BUSU..

i love u s much la..

hahaha...

hurm..

but the most important now.

i have WAN!!!..

den windu qek wan!!

huhu..

but watever it is..

i was felt that i was in my own family...

uncle kamar yng layan aku mcm anak sndri..

thnx uncle.!!

u such great FATHER..

jus like AYAH...

thnx to tyra..

sudi bawak aku dalam family ko...

ooo....gosh...!!!

i windu gler ibu n ayah right now.

i felt to hug them!!

rse xlengkap idup aku xhug drng be4 lek jb..

seb bek ader along..

n smpat jugak aku hug die.

i cant imagine wat gonna happend to me

if they ar not around..

ketenangan yang aku cari

hurm..

almost 2 days i've been with tyrah's aunty ..

n hes siblings..including kimi..

hurm..

such a happy family eventhou it was tiring day..

quit bit of jelous once seeing the are very close to each other..

a good responsible brother..

a quit discipline sister..

a listening sister..

a most manje adek!

y i couldn't have that even for a day..?

curious..

kinda missed

hurm..

td bru pas chat ngn tyrah..

one of my goodfren..

she was telling me that hati die da dimiliki org!!

hooo....

so happy for her..

untung la ader bf..

hurm.

ilang la lg sorng mmber aku tok melepak..

pasni msty da xleh nk lpk2 kt tmn memalm..?

msty bf die soh lek dok kt umh awl2..

hurm..

untung la ader bf..

hurm..

aku jelous sbnrnye..

aku nk gak ader partner cm tu?

hurm..bkn aku xlaku..

tp aku yng wat diri mcm xlaku..

ader org nk..

tp xleh nk trime..

sbb aku still syunk die..

cmne nieh?

hurm.

can we like before?

=(